Missing The Good Ol’ Days Before Motherhood

Accept how things are now

Those were the days….You might have been very active Islamically, praying the sunnahs daily, volunteering locally, going to classes to increase your knowledge etc. But then you get married and have a baby. There goes the free time to volunteer, classes or concentration in salah. Heck, praying on time becomes a daily challenge; forget about the sunnah prayers. After some time you have another child alhamdulillah. And life gets crazier and busier… Weeks, months and years just fly by.
You miss those days. You miss how you used to be, all the things you did and all the beautiful feelings of strong eeman you experienced. You find yourself getting sad, annoyed or even angry at how there’s so much you can’t do and there’s so much that has changed in your world that restricts you in ways. Some have dealt with this transition so easily and effortlessly but you are still struggling with it.
We all hold on to some aspects of ourselves from the past, especially our strengths. We don’t give them up so easily when our circumstances change. We somehow overlook some of the good now by focusing on the past.
But what would happen if you truly and honestly accept how things are right now? Accept the struggle, the low eeman, the reality of a busy life now?
No, I’m not talking about giving up and not wanting to improve yourself and your circumstances. What I am saying is to actually accept how things are right now. Accept the fact that you have become a wife and a mother. You are doing a lot more than you did back in the day. Accept the fact that you have difficulty brushing your hair and wearing nice clothes requires some effort. Accept the fact that you lose your cool and become a monster sometimes, not because you are a horrible person but because you are tired and working so hard to keep your family healthy and happy.
Once you accept the truth, the reality, your story at the moment, you can move forward and bring in new habits, new perspectives and start writing a new story for yourself. And listen carefully, make this story a reflection of who you are now and who you want to become. NOT a reflection of who you used to be…. Because you’ve grown and evolved. You will be doing disservice to yourself if you try hold on to that imagine yourself.
How will you write your story? Think about it and get started.

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